Kary Rogers

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I coasted through my twenties

My first 24 years didn’t prepare me that much for struggle. Things played out in a straight forward way and I thought my life was off to the races. As life does, something came along and knocked me on my ass. Instead of using this opportunity to know myself better, I thought that god must have a reason and something good would come of it. I tried to let it go at that. It was incredibly painful and I wasn’t emotionally mature enough to handle it. I just wanted things to go back to how they were, and swept it under the rug as best as I could. I waited for the pain to go away and after a long time figured I must be over it when I didn’t think about it every single day.

I was wrong. It laid a seed inside me that would take years to work it’s way to the surface. Now here I am, trying to pull everything out of the drawers and closets and take a good hard look. I don’t like everything I see, I...

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I’m terrified of vulnerability

Because I’m afraid of what people will think even when I know, for the most part, no one really cares that much. Except maybe other people that could be impacted by what I say. Disappointing family. Hurting loved ones. I guess there’s a line between airing your dirty laundry and being open.

Months ago, I started a tumblr so that I could write anonymously but still have that first post sitting unpublished. The thing is, we want our secrets to be known. We want to talk about them. We want people to know and accept us. If someone knows me, really knows me, maybe they won’t accept me and I wouldn’t like that very much.

I think I can write about self discovery and personal growth without negatively impacting those that I care about.

Or maybe this will sit unpublished and I’ll never come back here.

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